Crazy, busy, painful weekend...

Well, the past week since I last posted has been interesting.

First of all, I have come to a place where I know that God is not calling me to take over the agency. I never really had peace with that decision, no matter how much I tried to convince myself I did. Thank goodness God is giving me another chance to change that!

So, now I will need to talk to my dad at some point. That has the potential to be kinda messy. I really don't know what to expect with that, because it could go well, and it could also go badly. I'm just praying about it and asking God to prepare my dad. There are so many things going on in my family that I kind of feel bad about adding one more thing to my dad's plate, but I need to follow God's lead.

I am not sure yet about how soon I should/will leave the office. I would really like to start working elsewhere, but we'll see. I don't want to jump the gun, but let God lead on that.

So yeah, this decision pretty much became for sure at the end of last week.

To complicate my already abnormally busy and crazy week last week, Friday morning I woke up with a nasty kink in my neck. Not fun. At all. But, I had a chiropractor's appointment after work, so I thought that would fix it. Wrong.

Apparently, the joint was too inflamed to adjust back into place (even after 2 tries on my chiropractor's part).

Then, to top it all off, I go up to my grandmother's place to see how she is doing and visit with her. I head upstairs to my old room to see what I had left to do that weekend. As I am heading up, my Aunt visiting from San Diego tells me "You might be a little surprised". Great. So I go up to my room, and they had apparently picked the lock and taken out all of the things I had left to go through. I was a bit shocked, though not totally surprised knowing my relatives.

So, my aunt comes up the steps, as I am processing all this. She tells me that they put everything in the garage and that they had to do it cause there was another rat infestestion and so on.

I asked her why she didn't contact me and at least let me know before they just went up there. She just went into a tirade attacking me and just going off on me. I was really upset about the whole thing--upset meaning a whole mixture of feelings, like hurt, anger, frustration, and a feeling of violation, not to mention betrayal.

I spent three years helping to take care of my grandmother. I never asked or looked for thanks for it, but all my aunt has done is treat me like crap. Not overtly, at least until this incident. She apparently does not recognize the fact that I made sacrifices in helping to take care of my grandmother, and probably spent more time with her than my Aunt has in a long time. It hurts me to no end. I hate that my Aunt is causing and encouraging so much division in my mom's family. I don't understand it at all. I don't know what the motivation is, but it is horrible. And all this as my grandmother is essentially dying.

Anyway, so then I had to spend all weekend around her. It is hard to forgive in situations like this. I can't trust her; I can't believe the apparently nice things she does, because of her passive-aggressiveness and manipulations. *sigh*

I must say though, I am really glad I was able to get a lot done, despite the circumstances. I have all my books at my new place now, and even took along a bookshelf thing, and my room feels a little more homey now; a little more settled in. I can't wait to have it all organized and everything. It'll be nice.

Well, that's all for now.

~Marieke