My thoughts on life

Lately I've been thinking about life and what really matters.

I wrote out my life purpose for the money map thing and I realized that a lot of the things that our culture values aren't necessary to fulfill what I believe my purpose during the short period of time that is my life.

Here is my life purpose:

My Life purpose is to glorify God through my relationship with Him (through prayer, worship, reading my Bible, and acting on the things that He calls me to do), through loving and serving my family and friends and giving them the grace that God gives me, and through serving and ministering to people by using the gifts that God has given me.

I feel that all the details of my life with work out for the best as long as I live with that purpose in mind, because I know that wherever God leads me is the perfect and best place for me to be. My life so far has been nowhere near what I expected, but I love it, because I know that I am right where God wants me and there are good and wonderful things happening!

A lot of people lately have been telling me what they think I should do with my life. I realize that it's out of love and caring, but it's frustrating to me sometimes. The things they mention (education, finances, etc) are important to me, but whatever it is that GOD has for me is much more important. I know that God will give me the education I need (whether it's at a University, or whether it's through reading my Bible and living life), the finances I need (whether it's a lot or a little) and everything else. I would really like to finish my education and get a degree, but if I don't, that's not the end of the world. My degree isn't going to matter in heaven, and it doesn't even matter on earth if that's not something I need.

What is important to me is that at the end of my life, I can look back and see that I was faithful with what God entrusted me with...my life, my mind, my talents, my family, my friends, the people in the circle of influence. If getting my degree means missing out on something better that GOD has planned for me, I don't want it.

What I've said won't make sense to a lot of people, I would imagine. But I don't want to make sense to the world, I want to follow God's leading in my life.

A lot of these thoughts are prompted by people who are pressuring me and Nathan to wait to get married (we're planning on next summer, probably August) because Nathan's parents will pay for his education, but not if we're married, so the last two years of his education (the most expensive years) will be our responsibility financially. I understand this concern, but I think that if we manage our money well, we will be able to handle it with no problem. It is a worthy investment into our future.

The other issue is about my own education...I am taking a break right now for financial reasons (I haven't been able to get financial aid, since my parents wouldn't fill out the FAFSA), and assuming Nathan and I get married next summer, we will stay in Santa Barbara and work for about a year before going down to LA for his education, at which point I would work fulltime and Nathan parttime while he finishes his education. This makes the most sense because of my experience in the insurance field allows me to get a better job.

I feel very strongly that next year is the right time for us to get married. Also, it is important to both Nathan and I that we be together wherever we go, and I would not want to move down to LA without being able to come home to him, as my husband. It doesn't make sense for me to follow him without that commitment of marriage. Plus, on a practical level, it would be a pain for each of us to find apartments and all that by ourselves, and probably have to find roommates, or get used to new roommates. And for me, I don't want to uproot myself from Santa Barbara where all my friends and family are, without knowing that Nathan and I are joined together as husband and wife. And finally, if we did wait till Nathan was done with his education before getting married, we wouldn't end up starting a family until I'm about 27 or 28 because we both agree it's best to wait a couple years after getting married to have kids.

So, those are my thoughts on everything. And I feel very much at peace about it all. I feel that God is leading us to get married next year, and I know that He will provide for all our needs.

~M