Sad Day

Today is going to be a hard day.

Wesley's funeral (the guy I knew growing up who committed suicide) is in about an hour and I am slightly dreading it because I don't know how it's going to affect me.

I am already emotional from yesterday's affairs, and I sometimes wonder how close to the breaking point God is taking me. And I wonder just how much I really can handle.

Dear God, I don't know what the deal is here, why there are so many difficult things going on, but I trust that you are in control. I really need your support and your grace to sustain me. I don't want to simply exist and cope with what's going on, I want to live abundantly, even through the hard times. Please fill me up to overflowing, Lord, cause I feel like I'm living off fumes at the moment.

The Marieke