Very upset....

Dude, this weekend has been quite interesting, both good and bad. I don't know if I'll even get around to The Passion this post.

I just found out today that my grandmother and uncle wish to kick me out in 30 days. Let me explain a little....

I have lived at my Grandmother's house for the past 3 years (since I was 17) helping her out in a myriad of ways. The first two years she was fairly self-sufficient, but her eyesight isn't good and she had some trouble getting around on her own. So, I did her grocery shopping for her, took care of her bills and wrote other checks, and was generally available for anything that she needed when I wasn't at school.

A little over a year ago, she had some health problems that landed her in the hospital. She started needing professional care during the day, but once she was in bed, she was okay, so she had caregivers from 9am to 9pm and then I would be home from 9pm until I had to leave for work in the morning. It has been only recently (since January when she was in the hospital again and started needing 24 hour care) that I haven't had any specific responsibilities here.

So, you ask, why exactly does this warrant my being kicked out?

Well, apparently, I have shown "disrespect" (what the heck?!?) towards my grandmother and told her that I "don't want to help her anymore" (excuse me?!?). I don't know where the disrespect thing came from. She hasn't told me of any problem she has had with me, and I can't think of anything beyond leaving some things on the steps (the ones that only go to my room) for a while before cleaning them up. As far as not wanting to help her out, I think I do know where that may have come from. However, there had to be some kind of misunderstanding on either my grandmother or my uncle's parts. I had spoken with my grandmother before, explaining to her that I was not able to care for her because she needed people who were trained. I wouldn't feel confortable caring for her because I don't know how to properly do certain things without hurting myself or both of us. Plus, if she passed away while in my care, I don't know how I would be able to deal with that. In addition, I work from 8am to 5pm and I have to be alert for my job. I would not be able to help her during the night because I would just burn out that way. So basically, it is not that I am not willing, I just know that what she needs is beyond my capabilities and limits.

Anyway, right now I have a few different emotions going through me. I wish I could punch someone, but I also want to just cry.

Well, I need to finish my application for my Africa trip because I am going to meet the missionary I will be working with tomorrow. He and his wife are in California right now, so I will get to meet them before going.

More later.....