Busy..

This week is now turning out to be a little more busy than I expected. I have a project I have to get done by Thursday, which should be doable, especially since Sarah is going to help me on Wednesday, but I also have worship practice for Church in the Park on Thursday and I had really wanted to get together with a couple friends.

And in all this, I really need to be spending quality time with God. For some reason I've been getting really distracted - partially from busy-ness, but it seems like there's something else, too, that I can't quite put my finger on. Just gotta keep praying and pursuing God!

Last night, I was going through a box of random stuff from my closet (trying to get it as cleaned out as possible!) and I came across the program for my grandmother's (we all called her Oma) memorial service last year. I feel like my grieving process was kind of skewed cause of some hurtful situations that happened shortly before she died. My perception of her and other extended family members was shifted quite a bit. I don't know if I can really say that I've missed her that much, which makes me feel awful. But then I have moments where I do. A wave of sadness hit me when I came across the programs. I've also felt some sadness when Nathan talks about wanting his grandparents to hold our first child in the future. All of my grandparents have passed away, and my Oma won't be there when I get married, or be there to celebrate when I give birth for the first time. I know she would have been so overjoyed to experience those things. But it was her time. She'd probably have ended up being over 100 years old, or at least close to it, if she lived to see my first child!

What ended up making me cry a bit was the fact that I couldn't call Nathan. I really wanted to ask him to come over and give me a good hug - the kind only he can give. But God is faithful and I know there will be times in the future where Nathan won't be able to meet my needs for whatever reason, but God always does and I can always rely on Him to always be there through thick and thin in His perfect way.

Maybe I'm just in a place where I'm processing things. God's brought up some stuff that I haven't expected and I don't even feel like I quite know how to pray about it all yet. This whole process is turning out to be quite interesting, I must say.

~M

PS: I am still tempted to read his blog....must....resist....temptation....