Interesting stuff...

Well, the end of this fast has certainly been interesting. Last night, I had an insteresting situation with a close friend of mine. Suffice it to say, I am really bummed about some choices she is making. They are not good and she will most likely be suffering the consequences (relationally, emotionally, mentally, possibly physically) for the rest of her life. I love her to death and it hurts me to see her doing this. She is even fully aware of how her heart is hardened to hearing God and that her choices are gonna have some HUGE ramifications. I can only pray that God will change her mind and heart VERY soon, before she starts telling people of her choices.

I talked with her for a couple hours or so after I realized something was wrong. I shared my heart and what I believe God wants to speak to her, but she was also honest with me about where she's at. This is the second close friend of mine who has effectively turned away from God and his plan for her life because of a relationship. It goes much deeper than that, though, but the relationship seems to be the moment of decision. I am just praying that God brings her back to himself soon, before she loses her faith completely.

My heart just hurts so much. I honestly feel pretty drained right now, too. Another friend of mine is also dealing with some difficult things...repercussions of past events....and I can see how much she's hurting too. The interesting thing is, both these girls are also comfortable with Nathan, and so between the two of us, we are able to minister to them in our own unique way and at the same time keep each other in the know about what's going on so we can be more effective in how we love them.

Last night, with the whole thing going on with my friend, I ended up calling Nathan because I needed his input. I considered it an emergency and I don't feel like it was compromising our week of fasting or anything. I realize how important Nathan is to my life, and that God really works through us as a team. He is such an encouragement to me and I feel that I've become a better person and grown closer to God because of him. I really do love him enough to say that I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side.

Tomorrow morning we're going to have breakfast (and I'm going to his house at 6:30...AM.........ACK that's early!!!) before I have to be at Church in the Park for the run-through and sound-check for worship at 8:30. Hopefully I can get to sleep soon, even though I slept in since I was up later than I expected last night.

I ended up having another dream last night about Nathan. I dreamt that we had gone down to visit his family and there was some Jewish holiday going on. I have no idea what it was, or even if it was a real Jewish holiday or something my sub-conscious made up. It was interesting because I was pretty much just hanging with Nathan and his family. A couple odd things happened here and there, but I don't really remember much, except that I had this random conversation with a Rabbi while I was sitting on some steps. I just remember feeling comfortable, like things were right between me and Nathan and I was getting along well with his family. I think the fact that it was a Jewish holiday - with family and celebrations - was a symbol of how we will stay connected to Nathan's dad's side of the family. How we will get along and be a part of that side of his family, despite our differences in beliefs. I feel like that's another confirmation that we are meant to be together and how God will work out all the traditional/religious aspects of Judaism that will affect how we relate to the Jewish side of his family.

I am also at peace about the whole education thing. I am looking forward to seeing what happens with FAFSA and what classes God will lead me to for this next year. I know whatever happens will be for the best, no matter what I feel about them at first.

Well, time for me to spend some more time with God before I hit the sheets! What a week it has been!

~M